Someone Can That Designer!

If you know me at all, you know I’m a car guy. It’s not something I can really explain; it’s a love of beauty and elegance that only other gearheads can fully appreciate. However, there are a few cars out there that I think the world would be better off without. In no particular order, here’s my list of some of the world’s ugliest cars.

1973 Pontiac GTO

From it’s inception in 1964, and particularly from 1967 to 1970, the GTO always exuded a tough, brawny attitude, helped in no small part by it’s aggressive design. But this “fresh” re-design left it looking (rightly so) like an econobox masquerading as a muscle car. Plus, it had a case of overbite so bad that it would have given any dentist a coronary.

2010 Kia Soul

Kia calls it a blending of the Scion xB and the Honda Element. Looks more to me like one of those freaky concept cars you see at auto shows, only with normal door handles. The headlights in particular irk me; they look like they’re from a Transformers movie.

1956 Ford Edsel

Nicknamed “The Toilet-Seat Grill” for obvious reasons, the car was named after the late Henry Ford’s son (and former President of the Ford Motor Company), the late Edsel Ford. Predictably, the car was a flop; it sold rather dismally for three years until Ford finally pulled the plug. It’s probably a good thing Edsel, who was also a very talented automobile designer, died thirteen years before the car went into production: seeing his name on this monstrosity would have likely killed him.

2007 Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe

I love this car. I absolutely love it. It broke my heart when I found out that someone stole the real headlights and replaced them with the ones from the Fiat 500. Wait, what? Those are the real headlights? *Insert Horrified Scream Here* And would it have killed them to use a wrap-around windshield?

2001 Pontiac Aztek

Probably the most famous ugly car in recent history, there really isn’t a whole lot I can say about it (pretty self-explanitory, don’t you think) except to wonder what the designers at Pontiac and GM were smoking when they designed it, or what they were thinking when they let one of their kids design it.

2010 Toyota Prius

Despite what you might think, I really don’t have a problem with hybrids; I just have problems with people who by them to pretend they care about the environment (park it in your driveway while you get chauferred around in an Escalade or private jet). This thing, however, looks like an over-inflated party balloon getting ready to pop. Or, if you paint it the right shade of green, it could pass for a giant booger or a radioactively-mutated garden slug. Oh, and guys at Toyota, the larger grill is supposed to be above the bumper.

1965 Fiat 500

Desinged to compete with such famous marquees as the Volkswagen Beetle and the Mini, the 500 comes off looking like the product of an unholy union between the two, only without the sickening cuteness that made its parents worldwide successes. Plus, it gave its headlights to the aforementioned Rolls-Royce.

1970 AMC Gremlin

In the early 70s, if it was an econobox, it was probably ugly. But the Gremlin here takes the cake. It was a perfectly proportioned station wagon… from the B-pillar forward. That’s where they chopped off the back seats and the cargo area and welded on some random sheetmetal. Take the wheels off, fill in the wells, and you’ve got a spaceship from the old Battlestar Galactica TV series. No, wait, forget it: they’d still have made the back end longer.

Before anyone says anything, yes, this little rant of mine as inspired by Sam’s Annoyance with Crayola.


3 thoughts on “Someone Can That Designer!

  1. nice. the last car looked cool-ish, but i would never drive it. also that one rolls-royce was HORRIBLE.and the little car should have been a clown car. but i’d drive it.i liked this post. do more plz? with numbers? i like numbers. like “5 most ridiculous cars” or “3 most poorly-designed firearms”. i dunno. something you’re good at. (which i know is not just guns and cars). (btw can you design a gun-car? or a car-gun? a gun that shoots cars? or a car that drives… guns? that would be so cool.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s